Baseball season had begun and I saw this as my clear opportunity to free myself from Bradlee. As hard as I tried I was unsuccessful. Christmas had come and gone and I was interested in and seeing other people. I still cared about Bradlee and he was jealous. The very last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. Afterall he always told me how wanted I made him feel, how loved and cared for he finally was. He begged me never to forget him. He invited me on every business and baseball trip off island. Every weeknight like clockwork Bradlee asked me to help him fall asleep by texting overtly sexual messages. I would do so and like clockwork he would fall asleep without so much as a ‘thank you’ after he came. I wanted to be free from him. He would adamantly pursue me but only upon his convenience. Every Friday night we would have wild, loving yet heartbroken sex. He would invite me to his baseball games and practices which I became very interested in. He would teach me things when I had his attention and tell me how everyone was so curious about who I am. He was becoming uncomfortable because he didn’t want anyone to know the association but he still wanted to “see my sexy legs and beautiful face in the bleachers..” At a men’s league game his grandfather approached me and I immediately fell in love. I met the most thoughtful, loving, inclusive, kind man I had ever met. The only problem, he was just as interested in me as his thirty five year old grandson Bradlee. But I wasn’t phased, I was flattered. By this point Bradlee’s mother had asked about me and he’d had enough. The week before I tried to contact his father to ask about some legal issues I was interested in. I was unsuccessful in reaching Bradlee’s father however, I was more than successful at making Bradlee pee his pants and lose his temper. He was so mortified that his father might find out that his son was in fact having another illicit affair with a young lady 12 years his junior. He lost his mind on me. Bradlee had made me cry many times. In fact I cried every single time I saw him but i had only cried out of fear of him one other time so far. Although he is a clear alcoholic he isn’t generally violent or physically abusive. His verbal abuse always seemed to be his preferred route of discipline. He seemed to be getting it all. He could have his cake and eat it too. A wife and son, a good job and a nice house to go home to every night as well as a mistress whom he could control and take advantage of as he pleased as well as pursue like a sperm loaded bachelor college kid who just wanted to spray me down and watch me swallow whenever he wanted. I was his doll. His puppet. I went out of the country for over a month and made sure I did not initiate contact. Bradlee contacted me all the time. He wanted me on Kauai with him. Within reach. 3/19/12 Within days of my return he asked me to please meet him for a bit. He would be leaving to Colorado and Las Vegas and he really wanted to see me. He left work early and met me at Banyan Harbor. He asked me to rent a room but I had already spent over two thousand dollars on hotels and ‘goodies’ for him thus far. I was sick of his broken promises. He really wasn’t going to be back the next morning even if I’d stay the night to be with him. He never did what he said. That’s why I went off island. To purge myself but he always found a way to track me down. We got into the pool and he held me closely and very tightly. He kissed me and didn’t let go. Bradlee wrapped my legs around him and felt my bare body as he held me. He drank me in and caressed me. He knew he’d lost me. He asked what happened, what went wrong but between kisses I just giggled it off and held his wet shirtless body. He was drinking me in. I definitely cared about him, just not the way he cared for me anymore. I didn’t want to tell him. I knew I only had a few minutes anyway so I didn’t want anything at all anymore. I told him the time because I knew he needed to leave soon to coach baseball. I dried myself off and untied my white bikini. Bradlee asked me to come into the men’s bathroom with him. I played dumb and asked if he was alright although I knew what he’d wanted. He was craving my body; my breasts, neck, legs, arms, ass, lips and pussy, my sex. I let him kiss me and hold my body. He weaved his fingers through my hair and whispered gently how amazing I look and how delicious I taste. “Baby I want you so badly. I wish I could be with you as much as possible. I’m not a prick I promise. Please understand. I missed you baby. Oh god, I missed you more than I could ever tell you.”
I tore the velcro of his dripping surf shorts open and lightly kissed down his neck and chest. I couldn’t resist pleasing him. I wanted him to want me the way he did. I kissed him and gently bit him. My hands grabbed his thighs and balls. His cock hardened more as I glided my tongue around it. It wasn’t until then that I realized how truly small his penis is at its largest. I was surprised I had coaxed myself into affection of this tiny little thing for so long. In all honesty though, I still adored him and how every inch of him made me feel. I got on my knees and moaned as I sucked gently and then harder, softly, slowly, fast, aggressive. I nibbled, I tugged, I kissed, I sucked. I felt him all over. Bradlee was in ecstasy. He grabbed my tits and curled his toes. He always told me I made his toes curl. Then Bradlee came in my mouth. He sprayed his cum down my throat as his entire body shook for a few seconds. He let out a deep sigh of relief and sunk to the floor in satisfaction. Before I swallowed his load I turned on the water. I spit some out and took a big sip, turned around and said with a sarcastic smiled, “you didn’t even ask me about my trip!…just kidding. Don’t you have to go to practice sweetheart?” he laughed softly and slowly rose.
Before he left Bradlee promised he’d see me before Thursday when he would leave to Colorado and Las Vegas. As usual he neglected to honor his commitments and I was extremely upset by this point. He fervently chased me when he wanted me and avoided me when it wasn’t convenient. As many times as I had tried to end things with him he made it nearly impossible and pleaded for my affection. He always cried at the right times. He always knew the words to break my heart and make me give in to him. I wanted him to understand how I felt for a change. Always listening to ‘Bluebird’ or ‘The Lonely’ by Christina Perri after being with him was too much for me. My heart was breaking. How come he could have a wife and child to go home to and a mistress without any repercussions? He’s a police commissioner with proud parents who think the world of him. I’m going home alone. I posted angry words on Facebook; “who would care more? The mommy or the wife? Hmmm!” That didn’t imply a relationship with him but he knew I was referring to him and he was afraid so he erased our Facebook friendship.
This shook me to the core. For a second pure anger and hurt filled me. How can he just drop me after all of my devotion. Yes, he’s excited for his little
vacation. The typical lame ‘I’m a high roller wannabe from Hawaii going to show my stuff in Vegas’ vacation. I understood but I wasn’t impressed. I was livid. Hurt. Disgusted. Then, Relieved..finally, YES!! Was I finally rid of him? Was it finally over? Why did I get so upset? Over facebook? Was I kidding? How pathetic. It didn’t happen so quickly but within hours of being erased I was over it. I was free. Or so I thought. 4/4/12
Bradlee was back. He found things to text me about. He needed my attention again. He needed my love. No, he didn’t want anyone to know that we knew each other although he’d already bragged to his friends what we did together. Everyone knew. He didn’t want it to become anymore public though.
He got my attention again and although I was short with him he persisted. He told me he so desperately wanted to fly me up to Vegas to be with him the prior Thursday. All the gorgeous women he saw in the casinos reminded him of me. He couldn’t get me off his mind and he never wanted to. Weeks earlier at Kauai Inn Bradley quietly said that he’d loved me while he was making love to me. I didn’t respond nor acknowledge his accidental confession. I just took it in and let a few tears fall. I wasn’t in lust anymore. I wasn’t in love. I cared for Bradlee deeply. I loved Bradlee. There was no way I was ever going to say it back. Not the way he meant it. My heart ripped.
Things went back and forth so much. I was involved with this fucking loser that I couldn’t get rid of. He would get on his hands and knees and beg me to let this relationship continue. I didn’t want to.
We walked to our vehicles in silence.
I drove home after another night of unsatisfied guilty sex. Another night of Bradlee cheating on his wife while she’s sitting at home at 2:45am finding the length of the hypotenuse and simplifying exponents.